Everyone’s goal in life boils down to a desire for joy. Achieving joy, lasting joy does not come from things we buy, from the esteem of others, or our achievements. Real joy comes by following Yeshua’s (Jesus') injunctions:
"If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full." (John 15:10-11 NASB unless noted)
When we follow His injunctions we are loved by Him and His joy follows.
"...blessed are those who hear the word of God and observe it.” (Luke 11:28)
“Blessed” simply means 'exceedingly happy'—Joy.
Where, in the Old Testament, the law was the means to holiness or acceptance by God, in the New Testament holiness comes to us through Yeshua’s life and death. The law now is our means or road to JOY!
All that He asks us to do relates to how we are to interact with others. when we do we experience His joy to the full.
What does he ask?
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' (Matthew 22:37 GWN)
Love your neighbor as you love yourself.' (Matthew 22:39 GWN)
To our enemies, be they siblings, spouses, church members
But I say to you, love your enemies (Matthew 5:44)
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. (Ephesians 5:21 KJV)
Obey your leaders, and accept their authority. (Hebrews 13:17 GWN)
Wives, place yourselves under your husbands' authority (Ephesians 5:22 GWN)
let the wife see that she fear her husband (Ephesians 5:33 ASV)
So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. (Ephesians 5:28)
You husbands ... show her honor (1 Peter 3:7)
Children, obey your parents in the Lord (Ephesians 6:1)
Honor your father and mother that everything may go well for you (Ephesians 6:2 GWN)
Although, in Greek, there are five different words for love, God has only one—agape—the highest form of love, that he asks of us.
If you want your joy to be full practice these things, and make them a desired part of your character. If you want to lose that joy, disobey Him. You won't lose your salvation, just the joy and peace He promises those who obey.
If you’ve tried and failed it’s because we can’t do them and He wants us to experience the fact we can’t. If still you want to but can’t then tell Him. He’ll do it for you in you. Just keep wanting to, because he asked you to, and because He gave His life for you, you’ll do anything for Him.