Bein' a Berean
…outside the box but inside God's Word...
Does God show partiality?
For there is no partiality with God. Romans 2:11
As stated in many places in scripture, this ought to settle that question—NO, he does not.
That being true, it cannot then be an issue of partiality between genders when he commands:
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22, Colossians 3:18
In 1 Peter 3:1, we read:
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands
"In the same way" as what? This may seem hard, but Peter is referring to the preceding section where we read:
Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect. 1 Peter 2:18
If he shows no partiality even between male and female, then why this command to be submissive? Why would God ask a woman, who may be more capable, to submit to a man who may be less capable simply because of gender? Certainly not for reasons of partiality, especially based on gender.
First, this is not really about gender but the relationship between a husband (a man) and wife (a woman).
...there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28
It would seem reasonable that every organization should have a structure wherein someone carries the extra vote. In a husband-and-wife scenario, there can be an impasse, a stalemate. God gave the husband the headship and the wife the onus to submit.
I suspect there is another reason for this submission command, and it pertains to His determination to transform us into Christ's image. This, I believe, is His highest priority for our redeemed lives. This transformation requires our cooperation to progress, and when we become aware of our shortcomings, we ought to be more willing to cooperate.
It would seem that each gender has specific character traits, weaknesses, flaws, or sins of which we must be aware.
Where men are challenged to consider the needs of their wives over their own, God commands them to love their wives as they love themselves. Men put all their attention into their work and/or their hobbies. To the degree that we love God, we are motivated to obey him. At this point, we come face to face with our weakness and our inability to do so, driving us to confess this failure and ask for His help.
We see another tendency in the creation record, which might suggest that Adam was content listening to Eve's voice rather than leading. This may be reinforced today by boys raised/trained by a mother, their first significant woman. The habit is difficult to kick, yet God has decreed that the husband is the head of the household.
Conversely, Eve’s weakness might also be evident in that Garden of Eden event and become evident in those things God requests of them.
Why did the “serpent approach Eve”? Was there a recognized weakness to be exploited? Was it because she was designed to be Adam's helper? Did Eve have an inferiority issue? Was it the potential of being like God? Do women feel a need to assert themselves over men? Apparently, God thought so:
To the woman, he said, “... You will want to control your husband, but he will dominate you.” Genesis 3:16 (NET)
In this verse, God reveals that, because she ate the fruit, a drive to dominate has become infused into women's natures. This flaw is revealed when women act to obey God's request that they submit to their husbands. The revelation of this flaw in her nature is a necessary step preceding its removal.
Remember, in Galatians 3:28 above, God intends that men/women be equal. However, this newly acquired flaw works against that intention. (Read Fruit of the Fall).
Only after that drive to dominate is subdued and removed can she experience the joy of the Christ-like nature that we read about:
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death — even death on a cross! Philippians 2:5-8 (NIV)
I wonder if some marriages are on the rocks because the wife feels unfulfilled in being unable to get her husband to conform to her expectations.
Where a husband needs to constantly choose to love his wife, not as a servant, but as he loves himself and to treat her with great care, so too does the wife need to live in submission to her husband, lifting him and revering (fearing) him, constantly surrendering to God her innate tendency to control. Each spouse carrying out God’s command for their lives is motivated by their love for Him, regardless of their spouse’s success in meeting God's demands in overcoming the flaws in their nature.
If you love me you will keep my commandments. John 14:15
When we, in our love of Him, try to obey His commandments, such as to love our wife or submit to our husband, we face our inabilities—the sin within—be it self-love or control or whatever. Only when we become aware of these can we confess them. Only then can God work through those issues for our holiness.
God’s commandments show no partiality; they work to produce equality as we become more Christ-like.
A husband who loves his wife as he loves himself will, in love, consider her his equal, as one who is special to him. A wife who follows the headship of her husband will find herself lifted to a position of sharing equally with him as he loves her as he loves himself.
Giving ourselves to be obedient to God in this way is akin to other forms of giving. It is to be carried out quietly, before the Lord to the same degree as other forms of giving—neither our spouse nor our left hand ought to know or be reminded when we are doing these things.
Giving ourselves to obey His commands gives Father room to reward us with peace, joy, an abundant life, and blessings beyond words.
