Bein' a Berean
…outside the box but inside God's Word...
Why does forgiveness seem to be harder for some than for others? Yet, it is mandated as a condition for receiving forgiveness.
First, I use the term forgiveness because it is commonly used in religious circles. A more accurate translation of the Greek word aphiemi (pronounced 'a-fee-a-me') is “to walk away from” or “to intentionally forget.” (see God Cannot Forgive Sin)
God planted two particular trees in Eden’s garden—the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
And out of the earth God furthermore made to grow every tree that is beautiful to the sight and good for food, the tree of life also in the orchard’s midst and the tree for knowing what is knowable of good and evil. Genesis 2:9 (NETS)
These trees represented choice. Adam and Eve were given a choice to acquire the nature of God, that being life and service, or the nature of Satan, which includes a position on the spectrum of self-infatuation, self-deification, and self-righteousness.
While they could have chosen Life, they did not. Instead, Eve chose the latter, an experience entangled in a mixture of good and evil; Adam followed her lead.
Satan’s nature we today label as Narcissism. As a spectrum, mankind continues to experience this nature to some degree, from total evil to almost good. The degree of our awareness of that nature in us is proportionately inverted. In other words, those with a higher measure of narcissism are less aware of their condition. Extreme narcissism believes they never do anything wrong; it’s always someone else’s fault and that everyone ought to bow to their leadership.
Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain, and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their grandeur. And he said to him, “I will give you all these things if you throw yourself to the ground and worship me.” Matthew 4:8-9 (NET)
This becomes a problem for the narcissist who claims to be Christian because to partake of God’s offer of salvation we all have to acknowledge our wrongs—our sins.
But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous, forgiving us our sins and cleansing us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar and his word is not in us. 1 John 1:9-10 (NET)
It is recognized by Alcoholics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, and other organizations devoted to helping those with addictions that no one can be helped out of their additive nature until they can recognize/admit that they have the problem.
A narcissist has difficulty walking away from or intentionally forgetting the wrongs of others. Unless they forgive others... they will not be forgiven:
But if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive you your sins. Matthew 6:15 (NET)
Someone tells the story of a pastor in a new parish who learned of a parishioner with a prophetic gift. To test this ‘gift,’ the pastor requested the parishioner ask God about a sin he committed while attending seminary. A few days later, the parishioner returned with God’s response, “God said he doesn’t remember it.”
Only Satan and a narcissist can remember your every wrong. That defines evil.
When we, out of love for God, try to forgive those who have wronged us, our failure exposes this narcissistic nature so that we can confess it and ask His help in removing it. Without awareness and acknowledgement, we cannot be free of it or its effects. That nature continues to do harm to those closest to the narcissist.
